


Yearning

by Dahliaxat68



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Captivity, Love Confessions, M/M, Manip, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Nudity, Rape Aftermath, Romance, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2017-11-04 04:15:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/389639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dahliaxat68/pseuds/Dahliaxat68
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is captured and no one knows if he is alive or dead. In his mind he wishes to be found, and tells someone, how much he truly cares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Art by: Elfqueen55

It is dark, and all I hear is my heart beat pounding in my ears.

I am left alone here, for what seems like an eternity.

I can no longer discern night from day.

I am weak, but hold on nonetheless. 

I have people counting on me. I want to see my crew again, and my ship.

There is also you Spock. Who else would I miss most?

I can only imagine what you are thinking. Wondering about my safety, is he dead or alive?

I can also hear McCoy yelling at you, to find me.

I know that you will do your best, that is all I can wish for.

And if by some miracle, you do find me. I've finally decided to tell you something.

I can't let this happen again. It needs to be said. Who knows if I'll get that second chance again.

Damn, why is this so hard to tell you?

I'd rather be facing the Klingons or Romulans than telling you this.

I love you dammit. I have, for the longest time. 

There, I finally said it. And damn it felt good.

But, it's easy to say the words when you are not here looking at me.

Even if you aren't. I can still see that raised brow in my direction.

So what if loving you is illogical.

I can't help it.

So, you have no choice but to accept it, my Vulcan friend.

I love you so much, Spock.

More than words can say.

Find me, please.

Before it is too late.


	2. Yearning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCoy and Spock think about Jim.

 

Spock's body needed rest. But, he refused to admit it. McCoy knew how much this was affecting him. The Enterprise did not feel the same without its captain. It had been two weeks, and no answer. They had searched extensively the area where the captain had beamed down. But, they had come up empty.  
  
Shore Leave had always been pleasant. James Kirk and his CMO had enjoyed their relaxing getaway. There had been no complaints. It was a peaceful planet.  
  
As usual, when shore leave came around the two friends would often spend time together. Their hunting grounds usually consisted of checking the local bar, and  the pretty ladies.   
  
McCoy had had an emergency in sickbay and had to beam back up leaving Jim alone. Jim thought of following him, when McCoy made him change his mind, swearing that whatever emergency it was, it wouldn't take long. McCoy, now wished he had never insisted.   
  
An hour later McCoy couldn't find him. Communications had failed also. His communicator was non-responsive. A massive search was planned, and only sixty percent of the planet below had been searched thoroughly. Leaving forty percent untouched.   
  
Spock had blamed himself constantly during those two weeks. Jim had asked him to join both McCoy and himself, and Spock had refused. Quoting the Vulcan principal of logic, he stated that running up and down on green grass was not something he would undertake.   
  
The reason only sixty percent had been scanned was that the Enterprise had to leave orbit and continue on to their next mission. A planet needed vital medicine against a disease that Dr. McCoy had studied. Due to the Fabrini knowledge, it had a cure for it. And the Enterprise had been the closest ship to reach them in time.  
  
What do you do when a population of 3,000,000,000 weighs in the balance?   
  
They had to leave in a few hours and Spock, could not accept defeat.  Things looked very bleak. What they needed was a miracle.  
  
And at that moment, however illogical it was, he wished for one.

Chapter End Notes:


	3. Chapter 3

Spock closed his eyes and tried to block out Dr. McCoy's incessant ramblings. He knew his body was tired and that he needed rest. But, there was something preventing him from taking that step and falling into a deep slumber.

James Kirk was lost somewhere and he needed to be found. The Enterprise was going to leave because of an emergency which would leave the chances of finding their captain much bleaker. 

They had only a short time before they had to leave the sector. Starfleet wouldn't allow them to stay any longer. There were millions of lives at stake.

"Spock, are you listening to me? You're exhausted, and you can't deny it. I want you to rest, at least for a few hours. We have to leave soon and since you'll be acting captain, you need to be in tip top shape, and you're not at the moment."

"I understand what you are saying Doctor McCoy." Spock said quietly.

"Look Spock, I'm worried about Jim as well. I'm also guilty about the fact that I left him down there, alone. I shouldn't have, but who would have thought he'd disappear into thin air?" McCoy said angrily.

Spock realized that McCoy was being more logical than himself. Sleep, even for a few hours would help him function more easily. 

"I will sleep, Doctor. You may leave me now." Spock said wearily.

"I'm glad your complying Spock. I'll see you later." 

McCoy turned to leave Spock's quarters.

"We will find him Doctor McCoy."

"I hope so, Spock. Dear God I hope so."


End file.
